That's RATM. Been listening to it for sometime now. Mostly 'The Battle of Los Angeles'. AWESOME !
So, another year. Must be a cliché, first blog of the year and all that. Just been through that period of the year. Christmas, followed by the New Year. This time, found myself wondering why this time of the year was so amazing back when I was a kid and not anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the whole New Year thing, start something new, resolve to do the things that I've been putting off for so long, do things differently, get a positive outlook [ did I miss anything ], and so on. But there's.... theres no magic anymore.
When I was young
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I loved Christmas. I just loved it. I still love Christmas, not 'cos its still magical, just that it reminds me of the times I did find it magical. Oh, and Jesus' birthday.
Here's the scenario, finished my half yearly examinations from school. Holidays. Everyone at home. Maybe the adults were fighting back then and were tense and were going through the other phase of the holidays. But I didn't care, and they, the adults, didn't squabble when the kids were around and were looking so excited and happy.
The whole house would be lighted up. This is the place at my native. A huge house, which all year long, used to give me the creeps. Not on Christmas, no, on Christmas, being the biggest house in the street, it would be shining and lighting up the whole street.
Papa would get the tree. Fig. I love(d) the smell of that fig tree. It would be this huge one. Once its in the living room, the top of the tree would be arching down a little from the ceiling. It would be lit up. We'd hang all the decorations, greeting cards we got that year, any little stupid trinket we thought would look good on the tree. By the end of it, the tree would be sagging even more, but more shiny and looked lively and of course pathetic attempt at decorating it. Everyone would say it was lovely. We didn't care.
Now, the lights would be turned off in the night. I mean, inside the home. Only the Christmas tree would be the light in the entire house. Oh man, I used to come in the night and just sit in a sofa lookin' at it. the whole room would be so comforting and cozy. See, we had this huge hand made, red, carpet in the room. Since it is red, the whole room would get a red tinge to it. Being so cold in that time I loved coming out of the cold floor onto the warm carpet.
Just the lights, including the blinking VCR timer, which I always set, cos' every morning we'd get a power cut which would reset the timer, MAN!, and me. I loved the VCR. Sigh.
This is the Christmas Eve. The next day is all madness, rush to get ready, get to church, someone couldn't find the right tie or something, or someone didn't get the right dress for someone else and so on. I didn't care, me and the other kids in the family were just waiting to be reunited and then have a go at it. Of course, we had nothing to go at, but we still did.
Have a huge lunch, invite everyone from the Church Pastor to the long lost uncle who'd only make an appearance now and then, make sure everyone is full, talk about everything under the sun, from how the sermon went in the Church to what a stupid war the American's were playing at. Yeah, they were always at war.
Evening comes, by now things have simmered down a little, we still go out, have to make an appearance in an aunt's place here, who'll always say something like, 'oh, you're grown up so fast, is this you, you were this tall when I last saw you' or 'you'd always hang on to your aunt and keep asking to take you to the movies, remember'. Yeah right. Then we come back, and mum and papa and grandma and whoever else is at the place still would just lounge around and talk. No one's got the energy to fight no more. They'd talk about how I did this stupid thing which was apparently really cute or ask me something very embarassing and laugh 'cos ...... that was cute. Again.
The next day would still go on in the same vein, little bits of mingling and so on. People start going back to their respective places, away from my native. I hated that part. Mostly they stayed till New Years. We'd still have all the decorations, 'cos the kids will have nothing of that sort. Of course if it were up to us, we'd be celebrating Christmas whole year.
Somehow, New Years was never so frantic. It was all solemn. Maybe everyone sensed that they left something behind and were apprehensive about the new one. We kids were just happy that we still had holidays. We wouldn't mind when the schools opened up the next day. 'Cos we'd have so many stories to share of things we did for Christmas and of course lots of goodies for the friends at school to eat in return for bearing our stories.
Slowly, the decorations would come off. Everyone would settle in to the routine. Forget about the whole fuss. Wonder what the fuss was all about in the first palce. Me, I was just happy and glad 'cos I had a successful Christmas again. Just the way I liked it. That would be enough to get me through the entire year to the next one.
Maybe its not just Christmas. Maybe things were different back then. People living together. Aunts, Uncles, too young to be married. Everyone still staying at the same place. All the little things....
Tv: Sears
VCR: National
Fridge: Voltas
Vehicle [ mine ]: BSA SLR
Vehicle [ Papa's ]: Bajaj Chetak
Four Wheeler: Ambassador
Dog: Sony [ German Shepherd... very aggressive, female, never liked me, loved my brother ]
I'm gonna go on here.
The TV. Man, I was hooked on to that from childhood. I remember watching TV at my neighbours. Then we got a TV. Man, was I excited. I used to wonder if there was a way to make it work when the broadcast was done for the day and they were just displaying snow, or that rainbow thingy. Movies, again, our neighbours had a VCP, used to go and watch movies there. Got one of our own. I mastered it. I love gadgets. Even back then. Something go wrong with the TV or the VCR, I'd fix it. Move the antenna a bit, rewire the connection from TV to the antenna. Clean the VCR head. Play the cleanup cassette. I loved cassettes. I'd watch every latest movie that was out. Didn't care if it was bad or good. I'd watched a lotta nude stuff that way. Nobody cared what I was watching. Of course it was mostly cartoons, but I'd watch normal movies too.
I didn't care about the nude stuff back then anyway, I'd just fast foward it.
Oh, the daily prayers, we'd have daily prayers, in the living room, on that carpet. I didn't udnerstand the concept. Just sat through it. Sing an occassional song after being coerced into it. But when it came time for the final prayer, when everyone would kneel, I would get up, once everyones eyes are closed, I'd get up, go over to my papa, who'd be kneeling and would rest his hands on the sofa, forming a 7 shape. I'd climb onto his back and go around the world on my imaginary bike on my imaginary mission. My dad always knew I'd do this once the prayer's started and he'd always kneel in that position. I used to think that all these people once they closed their eyes, were gone somewhere else and wouldn't know what I was doing.
Now just before the closing of the prayer, I'd know this, I couldn't tell time back then, but somehow I knew when something was about to end, some show on TV or the family prayer. As soon as its done, not a second later, I'd turn on the TV, and the news would be on. I was just glad the TVs back on.
Now
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Theres no rush anymore, no hurry. We'd go to our hometown. Meet granny, all the other relatives come in slowly. No red carpet, no fig tree, just some costly plastic one. We'd still decorate it. Not really interested. Go through the motions. The magic's gone. Nobody's a kid anymore. Everyone is in a hurry to grow up. But, for just for sometime, when we kids, who're all grown up now, but as we grew together, we felt the same, me and my brothers and sisters and my 3 cousins, we 6, we were the kids I kept referring to in the past, we'd hang out again, and again as always, theres nothing much to do and we know we coulda done a lot more if were in some other big shot city. But no, this place, this place where we got nothing, and we still do something which would make us laugh out loud and take us back to that magic, we'd never give it up.
The whole 6 or some odd days of this period I used to enjoy as a kid has turned into a brief moment, now. I'm just glad that I can still feel it. Maybe that brief moment was all there was. As a kid it felt so huge. But as you grow up, we realize its not such a big deal. Maybe thats why the adults when I was a kid weren't so enthused. But they too as soon as they saw us 6, would start smiling and talk about all the cute stuff we used to do or even they used to do.
These stupid brief moments is all what life is made up of. I mean, my entire life is miserable with sporadic scatterings of happiness here and there. Maybe thats what we're living for. This is what happily ever after means. Your life would suck, most of the time, but you'd get a chance at happiness sometimes, if you do get them, your life is good.
Well, hope to have as many such moments this year, as I can possibly gather. And if someone is still reading, I seriously wish you do too.
Happy New Year ! !
